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It's time to wake up or get wiped out.
We live in a world dominated by a system that most of us aren’t aware of, never mind understand. When it comes to money and how it really works, most of us are too busy, too bored or too bewildered to think about it, despite being at the sharp end of the consequences. We simply don’t recognise the game that is being played out in front of us. Well check your pockets; you’re in for a nasty shock.
OUCH! is your entertaining answer to financial fear, ignorance or confusion. Quintessentially irreverent but with a deadly serious message - ultimately it tells you how to protect your hard earned cash and save yourself from financial meltdown.
You can’t afford to ignore it.
About the author
Publisher's acknowledgements
Author's acknowledgements
Introduction
CHAPTER 1. SHOW ME THE MONEY - its origins and how it works
Money, that’s what I want
Prehistoric transactions
Origin of faeces
The ultimate confidence trick
Empty promises
How fictional money is created
The most powerful force in the universe
Taking advantage
The stupidity tax
Chequebook vandalism
CHAPTER 2. PARALYTICALLY INCORRECT - Wake up to your realityParalytically incorrect
Follow the white rabbit
For richer, for poorer
De-railing the gravy train
A bit of a kerfuffle
CHAPTER 3. FIGHTING INSTINCTS - Understanding human behaviour and risk
Fight, flight and blight
'Oops!' inside your head
The curious case of Phineas Gage
PETs ‘R’ Us
The paradox
Abdication of responsibility
Baaaaaaaa
Probability vs. uncertainty
Out of control
Risk it, for a biscuit
Predictable and irrational?
CHAPTER 4. IGNORE EVERYONE - Stop the press and join the noise abatement society
Porky pies
Why 97 per cent are wrong
Jaw on the floor
Sponge me down
Manufacturing consent
Vested interest
Analyse this
Illusion of knowledge
Seven deadly sins
Exceptions to the rule
CHAPTER 5. RUB MY CRYSTAL BALL - The dismal science partially demystified
Rhyme on time
Three house rules
How much?
Generational Dynamics
Dr Doom and the law of consequences
The orgy
Smack my bitch up
Morton’s Fork
CHAPTER 6. MARKET DNA - Understanding how the market operates
Fancy a coffee?
Meet the sentiments
Smart money vs. dumb money
It’s been emotional
Beauty contest
Time horizons
Asset allocation
Dividend and conquer
Rip off
What’s eating you?
Like sheep to the slaughter
The Chartist movement
Voodoo monthanomics?
Closing the donut
The peasants are revolting
CHAPTER 7. ENTER THE DOJO - Foible combat - retraining your brainStop fibbing
Me, myself and I
Can’t be arsed finds the Holy Grail?
Brain rewiring
Fight club
CHAPTER 8. WHO ATE MY MAMMOTH? - Avoiding extinction and riding the money tidesBarking mad
Metal guru
Money tides
Weighing the anchor
Thrown in the stocks
From peer to eternity
Tripwires et al.
Random kindness
Appendix: Schemes
A dollop of source
Index